A Traditional KISS

A Traditional KISS

 Finally, it’s time to head to the woods to hunt deer as our ancestors hunted them – with bow and arrow.  We are a strange lot who choose to use a relatively primitive tool to hunt one of the most elusive, cautious and nature-smart creatures in the wild.  Always vigilant and on-guard, deer can hear, smell and anticipate our presence.  Our plan is to do all that we can to increase our chances of success.  The deer’s survival instincts appear to be supernatural, so we prepare for the hunt using the heavily promoted hunting accessories and supplies that promise to make us ghost busters.  We must overcome the deer’s senses of sight, smell and hearing to even hope to have the chance of getting a shot.

            The choice of camouflaged clothing is intended to make it difficult for the deer to see our human outline when compared to the surroundings.  The advertising for camo patterns can be found in all of the hunting journals.  Most of the successful bow hunters on TV and in magazines are clad in Mossy Oak or Realtree fashions.  Some of the “old school” bow hunters can be found wearing Treebark or army surplus pattern clothing.  The camouflage patterns can be found on hunting blinds, tree stands, bow limbs, and even 180 thread count bed sheets.   We’re lead to believe that we need to invest in the latest camouflage pattern to keep the deer from seeing us as we try to conceal ourselves in the woods.

            Learning how deer communicate via sound is critical.  Knowing the sounds that deer make and being able to anticipate their reaction to the sound provides us with a rare advantage.  However, we quickly learn that deer, very much like teenagers, rarely act in a predictable manner. We try grunting, bleeting, rattling and wheezing to get the deer’s attention and entice them to approach our position.   There are manual and electronic devices sold to emulate the deer “language” and advertised as the translation tool that will broadcast the invitation to other deer needed to lure them into an effective shooting range.

            We religiously shower with scent free soap and use the companion shampoo.  Brush our teeth with tasteless baking soda.  Apply unscented deodorant. Dress in the carbon activated, scent-absorbing, moisture wicking, HD camouflage clothing.  Finally, we completely spray every inch of our body with the scent-eliminating snake oil advertised as the “must have” ingredient for the successful hunt (as long as we stay down wind of the deer). 

            If we choose not to attempt to remove all of our scent, why not choose to smell like a promiscuous deer of the opposite sex who wants to meet up close and personal?  Years ago I tried a similar technique to entice the opposite sex by splashing on gallons of Brute and Hai Karate after gym class. I’d say the outcome could be termed as a mixed success.  I did have to fight off the ladies.  However, most of my fight was in self defense as they were trying to beat me down for completely depleting the room’s oxygen supply.

            Photographs captured by trail cameras provide dates and times of deer activity that help to pattern deer behavior.  The quality of the photographs and features on the cameras continue to improve each year.  Just because we can’t be in the field 24/7, that doesn’t mean the camera can’t record what we’re missing.  Who needs pictures of Ms. November wearing nothing more than a trigger release when we can see pictures of a healthy 4 by 4 passing our camera at 4:30 in the morning – and we’re not talking DuraMax baby! (wink, wink).  Some cameras record the date, time, temperature and moon phase.  The only thing missing is the deer’s age, weight and zodiac sign.

            There is a wide range of archery equipment.  It starts with the traditional longbow and wooden arrows all the way to the ultra-modern carbon composite killing machine.  We are talking bows that launch arrows in excess of 300 feet per second.  That is almost twice the speed of my traditional relic.

            The arrow rest on the modern compound bow appears to nullify the laws of gravity.  It keeps the arrow suspended in mid air.  It all but eliminates the friction between arrow and bow upon the activation of the calibrated trigger release.

            The HD fiber optic sighting device appears to be more technologically advanced than the first Lunar Module that landed on the moon.  It lights up, balances you and your bow, provides controls for micro fine adjustments and locks your retina.  It’s nice to know that I can shoot my bow instead of taking Prozac to get me balanced.  But that retina locking thing sounds like it could hurt. 

All that is left before field dressing our game is to record the laser measured distance using the state-of-the-art range finder, nock an arrow on our GLOWING adjustable arrow nocks, align the peep sight with the GLOWING HD Fiber Optic sight pin and activate the micro calibrated trigger release.  The fine micro carbon shaft with a straightness tolerance of plus or minus .001 inches and a weight tolerance of plus or minus 1 grain will streak through the air at 1/4 the speed of sound.  The fletching promises maximum steering and durability, minimum noise and weight, and tighter groups.  The mechanical broadhead is certain to create a cavernous wound cavity that will dispatch the animal quickly (that is, if the broadhead doesn’t open in the quiver first).  If the season is not over by the time we get all of this done, dinner is served.

I’m sure there is a Time and Place for all of the technological innovations that increase the bow hunter’s success.  However, I find that when I have the Time to make my Place in the woods, I prefer to do without technology as much as possible.  Hunting with a longbow and shooting wooden arrows is how I unplug.

I would eventually like to make my own hunting bow.  However, for now I’ll stick to my treasured 62 pound, 62 inch longbow.  I make my own arrows from cedar blanks that I fletch and finish with a fixed blade Zwicky broadhead.  My most recent innovation is to wrap rattle snake skin on the shaft as my signature cresting.  I experimented with different glues to get the feathers on the skin without taking off the scales.  When the arrow was completed, I was concerned that it was not balanced and would not fly correctly.  To my surprise and delight, it missed the bull’s-eye with the same errant precision as any of my store bought arrows.  I only had enough rattle snake skin left over after covering my bow limbs to wrap two arrows.  I proclaimed that any deer taken with these arrows would be termed “Snake Bitten.”

The next personal touch that I added to my hunt is my attire.  There has been so much research into what is best, worst, and doesn’t matter when it comes to blending in with nature.  It only stands to reason, as a traditional hunter, I should wear what nature provides.  It gets too chilly in the mornings to go completely au natural, so I settled on burlap.  My choice for camouflage is tailored burlap coffee sacks.  The breeze that flows through the mesh is refreshing after a long hike.  I wear wicking shorts and top and find my burlap creation just as comfortable as my store bought clothing.  I’ve gone undetected in the field by several buddies when only yards away.  So now I think I’m ready to approach my deer hunt with all of my traditional tools tested.

I arrive at an area large enough for me to stand surrounded by manzanita and sage brush.  There are bushes to my rear that guard against providing a view of my silhouette as the sun rises over the mountains.  I stand there in my stylish burlap coffee sack camo, holding my Acadian Woods 62 pound at 28 inch longbow and nocked my 29 inch, rattle snake skin wrapped arrow with 125 grain Zwicky broadhead.  I adjust my finger tab and continue to wait.  About 40 minutes into my wait, I hear noises come from a bush on the other side of the ridge.  I watch as a doe appears from beneath the canopy of brush and walk along the trail.  The adrenalin pump is switched to high as I size up my options and plan to get a quality shot.  I finger my arrow nock to make sure my simple glue on arrow nock is secure on my simple bow string holding my simple wooden arrow that I have no idea of the weight or the straightness.  Simply put – everything is simple.

I shift one foot in front of the other allowing me to get in shooting position.  As I raise my bow, the doe stares deeply into my eyes and moves her head side to side in puzzlement – as if to say, “Are you really wearing a burlap coffee sack?!”  The unspecified weight wooden arrow finds its mark and the doe drops in her tracks.

There are friends who hunt with firearms and compound bows who say that my traditional method of hunting is pretty stupid when there are many things that can make the hunt more successful.  My response is, “There are few things that are as memorable and satisfying as A Traditional Archery KISS (Keeping It Simple Stupid) and just about everyone remembers their fist KISS.”