A Traditional KISS
Finally, it’s time to head to the woods to
hunt deer as our ancestors hunted them – with bow and arrow. We are a strange lot who choose to use a
relatively primitive tool to hunt one of the most elusive, cautious and
nature-smart creatures in the wild.
Always vigilant and on-guard, deer can hear, smell and anticipate our
presence. Our plan is to do all that we
can to increase our chances of success.
The deer’s survival instincts appear to be supernatural, so we prepare
for the hunt using the heavily promoted hunting accessories and supplies that
promise to make us ghost busters. We
must overcome the deer’s senses of sight, smell and hearing to even hope to have
the chance of getting a shot.
The
choice of camouflaged clothing is intended to make it difficult for the deer to
see our human outline when compared to the surroundings. The advertising for camo patterns can be
found in all of the hunting journals.
Most of the successful bow hunters on TV and in magazines are clad in
Mossy Oak or Realtree fashions. Some of
the “old school” bow hunters can be found wearing Treebark or army surplus
pattern clothing. The camouflage
patterns can be found on hunting blinds, tree stands, bow limbs, and even 180
thread count bed sheets. We’re lead to
believe that we need to invest in the latest camouflage pattern to keep the
deer from seeing us as we try to conceal ourselves in the woods.
Learning
how deer communicate via sound is critical.
Knowing the sounds that deer make and being able to anticipate their
reaction to the sound provides us with a rare advantage. However, we quickly learn that deer, very
much like teenagers, rarely act in a predictable manner. We try grunting,
bleeting, rattling and wheezing to get the deer’s attention and entice them to
approach our position. There are manual
and electronic devices sold to emulate the deer “language” and advertised as
the translation tool that will broadcast the invitation to other deer needed to
lure them into an effective shooting range.
We
religiously shower with scent free soap and use the companion shampoo. Brush our teeth with tasteless baking
soda. Apply unscented deodorant. Dress
in the carbon activated, scent-absorbing, moisture wicking, HD camouflage
clothing. Finally, we completely spray
every inch of our body with the scent-eliminating snake oil advertised as the
“must have” ingredient for the successful hunt (as long as we stay down wind of
the deer).
If
we choose not to attempt to remove all of our scent, why not choose to smell
like a promiscuous deer of the opposite sex who wants to meet up close and
personal? Years ago I tried a similar
technique to entice the opposite sex by splashing on gallons of Brute and Hai
Karate after gym class. I’d say the outcome could be termed as a mixed
success. I did have to fight off the
ladies. However, most of my fight was in
self defense as they were trying to beat me down for completely depleting the
room’s oxygen supply.
Photographs
captured by trail cameras provide dates and times of deer activity that help to
pattern deer behavior. The quality of
the photographs and features on the cameras continue to improve each year. Just because we can’t be in the field 24/7,
that doesn’t mean the camera can’t record what we’re missing. Who needs pictures of Ms. November wearing
nothing more than a trigger release when we can see pictures of a healthy 4 by
4 passing our camera at 4:30 in the morning – and we’re not talking DuraMax
baby! (wink, wink). Some cameras record the
date, time, temperature and moon phase.
The only thing missing is the deer’s age, weight and zodiac sign.
There
is a wide range of archery equipment. It
starts with the traditional longbow and wooden arrows all the way to the
ultra-modern carbon composite killing machine.
We are talking bows that launch arrows in excess of 300 feet per
second. That is almost twice the speed
of my traditional relic.
The
arrow rest on the modern compound bow appears to nullify the laws of
gravity. It keeps the arrow suspended in
mid air. It all but eliminates the
friction between arrow and bow upon the activation of the calibrated trigger
release.
The
HD fiber optic sighting device appears to be more technologically advanced than
the first Lunar Module that landed on the moon.
It lights up, balances you and your bow, provides controls for micro
fine adjustments and locks your retina. It’s
nice to know that I can shoot my bow instead of taking Prozac to get me
balanced. But that retina locking thing
sounds like it could hurt.
All that is left
before field dressing our game is to record the laser measured distance using
the state-of-the-art range finder, nock an arrow on our GLOWING adjustable
arrow nocks, align the peep sight with the GLOWING HD Fiber Optic sight pin and
activate the micro calibrated trigger release.
The fine micro carbon shaft with a straightness tolerance of plus or
minus .001 inches and a weight tolerance of plus or minus 1 grain will streak
through the air at 1/4 the speed of sound.
The fletching promises maximum steering and durability, minimum noise
and weight, and tighter groups. The
mechanical broadhead is certain to create a cavernous wound cavity that will
dispatch the animal quickly (that is, if the broadhead doesn’t open in the
quiver first). If the season is not over
by the time we get all of this done, dinner is served.
I’m sure there is
a Time and Place for all of the technological innovations that increase the bow
hunter’s success. However, I find that
when I have the Time to make my Place in the woods, I prefer to do without
technology as much as possible. Hunting
with a longbow and shooting wooden arrows is how I unplug.
I would eventually
like to make my own hunting bow. However,
for now I’ll stick to my treasured 62 pound, 62 inch longbow. I make my own arrows from cedar blanks that I
fletch and finish with a fixed blade Zwicky broadhead. My most recent innovation is to wrap rattle
snake skin on the shaft as my signature cresting. I experimented with different glues to get
the feathers on the skin without taking off the scales. When the arrow was completed, I was concerned
that it was not balanced and would not fly correctly. To my surprise and delight, it missed the bull’s-eye
with the same errant precision as any of my store bought arrows. I only had enough rattle snake skin left over
after covering my bow limbs to wrap two arrows.
I proclaimed that any deer taken with these arrows would be termed
“Snake Bitten.”
The next personal
touch that I added to my hunt is my attire.
There has been so much research into what is best, worst, and doesn’t
matter when it comes to blending in with nature. It only stands to reason, as a traditional
hunter, I should wear what nature provides. It gets too chilly in the mornings to go
completely au natural, so I settled on burlap. My choice for camouflage is tailored burlap
coffee sacks. The breeze that flows
through the mesh is refreshing after a long hike. I wear wicking shorts and top and find my
burlap creation just as comfortable as my store bought clothing. I’ve gone undetected in the field by several
buddies when only yards away. So now I
think I’m ready to approach my deer hunt with all of my traditional tools
tested.
I arrive at an
area large enough for me to stand surrounded by manzanita and sage brush. There are bushes to my rear that guard
against providing a view of my silhouette as the sun rises over the
mountains. I stand there in my stylish
burlap coffee sack camo, holding my Acadian Woods 62 pound at 28 inch longbow
and nocked my 29 inch, rattle snake skin wrapped arrow with 125 grain Zwicky
broadhead. I adjust my finger tab and continue
to wait. About 40 minutes into my wait,
I hear noises come from a bush on the other side of the ridge. I watch as a doe appears from beneath the canopy
of brush and walk along the trail. The
adrenalin pump is switched to high as I size up my options and plan to get a
quality shot. I finger my arrow nock to
make sure my simple glue on arrow nock is secure on my simple bow string
holding my simple wooden arrow that I have no idea of the weight or the
straightness. Simply put – everything is
simple.
I shift one foot
in front of the other allowing me to get in shooting position. As I raise my bow, the doe stares deeply into
my eyes and moves her head side to side in puzzlement – as if to say, “Are you
really wearing a burlap coffee sack?!”
The unspecified weight wooden arrow finds its mark and the doe drops in
her tracks.
There are friends
who hunt with firearms and compound bows who say that my traditional method of
hunting is pretty stupid when there are many things that can make the hunt more
successful. My response is, “There are
few things that are as memorable and satisfying as A Traditional Archery KISS (Keeping
It Simple Stupid) and just about everyone remembers their fist KISS.”
